Recently I DLed the new Nelly Furtado cd... Only because I love the songs she has on the radio -- and that's unusual for me considering most of which that's on the radio annoys the shit out of me... ANYWAY -- after listening to that cd, I only kept about five songs. I like how she has a lot of electronic music for beats... hot hot hot My favorite song is "Wait for You", which is the last song on the cd. It's great though. I've been listening to it over and over. It reminds me of Jimmy <3 haha
"I know you're trying to get around me baby I know you've got me in your heart baby I know that you could love me If you only had a guarantee When I look at your face it's so empty I know I could fill you with love baby Your soul is dying for me Can't deny our energy
And you're far I'm near you're there I'm here you're hurting for me I can see it in your eyes Some of the hardest things are easy to achieve with patience
I'll wait for you until the heavens fall I'll wait for you until the end of the world I'll wait for you until I no longer breathe I know that it's not impossible I'll wait for you until you finish your fight I'll wait for you until the timing is right I'll wait for you until you knock on my door Cuz right now it's feeling just like a movie yeah yeah... Just like a movie
I know that this is hard for you Want you to know that I'm feeling it too It's taken some time but now I see everything It's so clear to me I can't give up your love without dying baby I'll wait until the sea is dry baby How do we know what love is Until it is free
You don't gotta do anything that you can't do You don't gotta do anything in a hurry You don't gotta do anything that you can't do I know you're there you got me You don't gotta do anything that you can't do You don't gotta do anything in a hurry You don't gotta do anything so don't worry I trust you and I know you're there I know you're there"
I also love the "Say it Right" song.
So that's that.
.....My 22nd birthday is coming fasttt!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though I'm getting older, I'm still excited.
Okay well back to my annoying 100's of friend requests =(
awwwwww hahahahah i love my kitty SO fucking much!!!
she is the best kitty ever <333 she makes me laugh so much. she's been playing for the past half hour. right now she's chasing her tail. <3 every now and then, like today, she plays with this guy: notice how the yarn on the monkeys face is all shredded? hahaha she loves that guy. i've never had a cat play with a stuffed animal like she does. she's so smart too... jimmy got me a plant for valentine's day, and at first she would bite at the leaves, but now she's learned that that pisses me off. lol.
i treat her like my child. i'm thankful for having her as a pet. jimmy did real good getting her for me <333 she's made times around here delightful.
it's funny how much a little animal can make our lives better. =)
and here's another pic just cuz i think she's so frikken adorable >^;^<
*yawn* Yeah yo I've been working my ass off. I'm proud of myself =) They started me off at more at work than I originally was supposed to be paid... And they gave me a lot of hours. More than I wanted them to, but she did offer and I said I would. Big paychecks are good paychecks. I have until Saturday off for now. I slept so late today. It was wonderful.
Plus I've been doing lots of shoots, and have been organizing some events that are going to be held for the calendar.
I shot with that high fashion guy, Gary Lowell, a few days ago. -- chasingthesun.net I'm waiting to get the disc which should be here soon. He did give me a password to see the pics that he had selected out of the sets we had done. Nice, huh? ;D I think so. He's a great photographer.
Anywayyy Hope everyone is having a nice nighttttt <3
My shoot yesterday went AWESOME. We didn't do the other angel wings cuz we didn't have enough time. We focused more on the set I wanted to do, then we also did a casual set. I felt really good through out the shoot which sometimes I have my doubts... And so far out of the 10 pics he's sent me already, I like a bunch! My best friend, Heidi, didn't come with me though. That was kind of a bummer. Although it was kinda my fault because I didn't call her until about 2:30 so she made other plans.
Then tonight I go for my orientation for my new, wonderful job!! When I said that I got the job before in the previous entry, I actually wasn't positive that I had the spot... I was still waiting for the results from my tests that I had to take... I was sure I had the job, and the call today made it official!!! The lady who handles the hiring is sooo nice too! She's very upbeat and friendly, and doesn't make you feel inferior. Just with the call she made to me this morning, we were laughing about how she said my name wrong. lol But yeah, I'm so excited for this job. I literally having been trying to get in there for about a year.
Another cool thing -- one of my other best friends mentioned to me that she wants me to help her open a business. That won't happen until a few more years from now but the idea of it makes me smile.
Oh and I found out that the calendar that I did will be ready in the beginning of next month!!! The release party is set for April 7th =) Can't wait!!!
Tomorrow is my angel wing shoot [#2]. I invited my best friend Heidi along, since she wanted to hang out and we haven't in a while. I actually was surprised she wanted to come. I'm happy though. I'm going to have her take some "friends" pics with me <3 hehe
I'm sad. The photographer canceled on me! He called saying that there was a fire in his studio! Crazy shit, aye?
I thought today was going to be a great day considering I went for a job interview today (and got the job) for a store located just 5 minutes away that I have been trying to get into for the past year or so!!! Then I was expecting to go to the shoot and make today a very productive day................ ..........but no.
=(
Now I just want J to come home and take me out of my boredom!
I have a shoot with a high fashion photographer, and I'm soooooo excited! ...nervous, too. I always get so iffy about working with new people cuz I can be insecure and I always have this thought in my mind that they might not think I'm everything they expected me to be. I'm sure that mentality holds me back from a lot, and I'm really going to try today to NOT let it happen =) Things have finally started looking up for me this month, I need that to stay persistent!
I missed out on a good event last night. ...I'm such a good girlfriend. lol
There was a promotion event that I was supposed to model at last night with the Whiskey Girl's, but Jimmy didn't want to go cuz he had to work really early & what not... So I respected him and stayed home.
I did the angel wing shoot that I was planning on doing. Not all of it though, there's still two sets of wings to do. I dunno, from what Mike sent me, I didn't really like any of them. That's always how it is though, I don't know why... I never really like the shots he sends me. He hasn't sent me the disc yet either. I hate waiting lol
So my 22nd birthday is coming up. I hate getting older. I wish I could stay at 21. grrrrrblah
The calendar thing seems to be blowing up though. Everyone is excited for it. Another thing I hate waiting for! I'm really excited for the release party. I'm going to be partyin with a lot of new people, and a lot of old friends =) I'm really lucky to have so many people supporting me with this. I've had a lot of new modeling offers too for other bike shoots. And some new clothing lines ;) Although I got some shit from my dad on the ass shot. lol *shrug* i like my ass. Kids moon each other all the time. It's just an ass. lol But yeah my dad deleted me off his friends list on myspace. I mean, I totally understand why he wouldn't want to see it... I was also kinda getting sick of him criticizing things I'd write in my bulletins, like when he didn't like that I wrote "lovers" on a bulletin subject........ Yeahhhhhhhhhh I was definitely joking when I said that........... lol mmmhmm I have 4500 lovers..................
okay well I have to pee and continue my life OFFline
It's Monday and I'm in pain from the calendar shoot that was on Saturday. lol They put me in some crazzzzzy high heels - like 8"! I actually fell twice in them. Then from there I had like body guards picking me up and sticking me in chairs so I wouldn't fall again. It was embarrassing... lol but that was the first time I had ever worn shoes that high... I knew I was going to fall.
My outfit was fucking hot though. We had to go shopping before the shoot since the company we were originally ordering from was retarded. I guess Shawn (the Trak Productions owner) was friends with the guy who owned the store (Adam & Eve is the name of the store)..... anyway - after I had picked out my outfit, I asked the Adam & Eve guy if he'd show me where the dressing room was. He's like "you have to try it on out here in front of us all" lol *sigh* ..........men.............. yeah my outfit is hot though. I picked out green because I'm doing March. fun fun
They put me on the most expensive bike there, I guess. That made me feel special. *lol* They kept freaking out thinking I was going to scratch the bike with my heels. h a h a !
I started getting pissed off though because I had about 4 people how to position myself at once. Then they'd be like "...you look confused..." um. yeah. lol geezus christ!
I guess they have about 10 stores carrying the calendar. And we're having the release party at an awesome place - Boston Billiards.
We went there to hang out since I was really early (Shawn said to be there by 11am when the shoot didn't even start until about 5pm) It's a really nice place... for a pool hall... Ashley was making me all kinds of goodies (she's the bartender). She turned me onto the Cherry Cheesecake shot. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I could drink those for days.
well, here's a little something from "behind the scenes"..... lol it's from one of the times where they were telling me what to do...
welllllllllll Saturday is the big calendar shoot! Things have gotten a bit crazy for it -- I guess the company they were supposively getting the outfits from had nothing in stock, so we have to go shopping before-hand. lol oh boy oh boy
THEN today I signed up for a Vixen Visions event model search thing... They're a local model/go-go dancing production co, annnd we're arriving in style -- Limo full of models... rawrrr There are two rounds - sexy little black dress & swimsuit/lingerie. This will actually be my first live competition (other than online).
So big things have been happening lately... starting to get overwhelming...
My best friend called me yesterday saying she's pregnant. It's weird too because she's only been with this one guy - her first "love". I had always thought I'd be before her lol but I think it's cute... I mean, not that she's already having a kid but just the thought of her being a mom. I don't think she's keeping it though. It was a mistake - she said she took the morning after pill, then did it again that night because she thought it would be still in her system... but she was obviously wrong lol I'm pro-choice, of course. I know she would be a wonderful mother but she's only 22. She wants to be able to give a child a perfect life rather than to struggle..
Speaking of pregnancy... I was watching that show - "in the womb" on the discovery channel... lol That's a fucking weirrrrrd show. Pregnancy is weird! When the embryo is forming...... it looks like a bug, or an alien... it's not cute at all. lol <333
Yay I got my hair cut! It's kinda shorter than I was thinking, but I like it, and needed it. I love getting my hair cut. I just wish I could find a stylist who knows the kind of cut I got in NH. I miss Christine!! She should move up here so I can get my hair cut with her lol
So Saturday was Equality. It was pretty crazy =) The Hippodrome is one of my new favorite venues. That place is awesome. I saw lotsss of people who I haven't seen in a veryyy long time!!!!!!!!!! Our friend Eric rode with us, which was so awesome cuz I haven't hung out with him in like four years. He was so happy to go & danced his ass off =) I danced my ass off too buuuut I fucking got sooo tired kinda toward the end, and I couldn't dance anymore =( I felt so old!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Usually I can't stop moving, but this time I was ready to crash in the bed in the DnB room lol All in all, the vibe of the party was amazing. It really did feel like old times. We drove by the Asylum to see what it had become these days. It still looks the same.
I wish they'd just get their heads out of their asses and fucking get shit together again so we can have another Asylum!!!!!!!!!! AMEN!
Like I said in the last entry, my friend Danielle came with us. It was her first party, and she loved it =D I've brought a handful of newbies into the scene, and no one has been so accepting and so into the new nightlife like Dani was. That made me happy. Everyone kept telling me how beautiful they thought she was, and she kept getting hit on lol We even had some guys ask us to pose with them in pictures. How sweet. ...I was thinking about it though... those guys are probably going to go back home and tell all their guido friends that they hooked up with us or something. *quivers* lol
yeahhhhhh it was quite a memoriable time.
well here are some picsss :
^ Dani & me before everyone started asking to take pics with us lol
^ throw your fuckin hands up
^ ...just walked through the door, checkin the list, and already the papa'razzi is on me! =)
^ aries bitches come to bring tha ruckus!
^ yeah that's my favorite finger
^ the last time we took a pic like this, it was just of my ass...
uuuuuuuuugh i feel soooooooo sick. i don't know what i ate, but i definitely have food poisoning. i do think it's the salad i ate before bed... because i woke up this morning tasting salad... then went to the bathroom and got sick. i've been throwing up and having hot flashes ever since. blah i just wanna crawl under a rock and dieeeeeeee
. . . anyway . . .
saturday is equality. ...shy fx, dara, & more... shy fx live... mmmmmmmmmmmmm funny too, our car is full. everyone is fucking going to this event. it kinda reminds me of the old skool raver dayz when i was 16 lol we have danielle, erik, and atariboy riding with us. this is dani's first rave =) which i'm very excited about, and that she's coming with us. i loveeeeee her <333 and eric hasn't been since the asylum shut down (like 4 years ago)... plus i saw on the event attending page that there are a lot of people going that i haven't seen in a long time. it's gunna be crazyyy!!!!!!
blah i'm going to go play tony hawk and let my tummy rest.
here's some pics from my latest shoot, since i haven't posted any in a while :::::
Cooooooool - yesterday I got a message through myspace from a girl I was practically best friends with when I was little. I haven't talked to her in about 10+ years!!!!!!! She was my neighbor, and then she moved to Florida. I had always wondered what she had been doing all this time. I couldn't believe she found me. I really love myspace. EVERYONE IS ON THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's nuts.
well I'm being lazy today. I haven't even taken my shower and am still in my pj's.
I wrote the links out to Knowledge, and then I continued my point about how I'm always promoting events that I don't even go to, and I ended the message with -- "still now where am I being comphensated for what I do?"
He wrote back and said how he wished we could be better friends so that he never would attempt to doubt me for the work that I do...... and he said that he'd get me the comp and one for a guest too. So that's pretty sweet! I usually only get one comp..! And this is going to be a big party too - usually they're anal about extra comps.
I guess I'm excited, although last night, Jimmy and I were talking about the party and he mentioned that he didn't want to spend like 150$ on travelling costs and drinks and what not... Soooooo I dunnnnno if he'll reconsider if we both have comps.
I have to spend some money for the shoot on Feb. 3rd cuz I despritely need to get my hair cut, and I also want to get my nails done. I think Jimmy also thinks he'll have to spend money for gas to go to the shoot, buuuuut I already asked Mike if he'd go with me since I know Jimmy hates going to my shoots (he thinks they're boring). I just can't wait to get it all over with, and start getting it out. There's also a calander release party, and I can make commission on the amount of people that I get to go. I really hope this will be something big. I've already been spreading the word about it... And so far things seem to be looking in the right direction. but like I said, it takes time, and I just want to get it done now!!!!!!!!! lol
In conclusion to my rant, Knowledge finally wrote back to me. He apologized for doubting me, but he still didn't mention whether or not I get my comp. So I do feel a bit bad about some of the things I had said... but only cuz he apologized. lol. I'm going to write back and include my friggen links that I originally wrote out since I feel bad for getting so mad..... *shrug*
I'm fucking fed up with who I do the event promoting for!!!!!!!!!! I promote for both Volume & Columns of Knowledge, and both are treating me like shit. I rarely go to events, because either I am busy or I just can't go for whatever reason. I go maybe once or twice a fucking year! Though whenever I ask for my comp into an event, I either don't even get a response from them or they give me a hard time.
I do LOTS of online promoting -- more than I see anyone else do!!!!!!!!! I have about 4500 people on my MySpace friends list who get the bulletin I post just about every day. I also belong to about 25 "rave/party" groups that I also post the event info in..... I never see anything in the groups from the other promoters AND no one else makes them as complex as I do! I make sure people know who's headlining - that obviously will attract more people rather than just writing "Check out this event: Equality", then when you open their bulletin it's just "click here to see event"... People don't want to have to do a run around trying to find out about the party! Oh, and I also have the blog on my page that is for the events. I always get fucking feedback on the parties, so I know I do bring in probably a forth of the crowd!!!!!!!!!!
I spend fucking too much time online doing promoting. My boyfriend even bitches at me because I spend most of my free time doing them. Then fucking Knowledge has the nerve to doubt what I do - but if he just fucking looked at the bulletins once in awhile maybe he'd see that I do what I need to!!!!!!! It's not like they help me either, like they fucking should!!!!!! Isn't that what a "boss" does????? Aren't they supposed to give you assignments?????? But no, I never fucking get emails from them.
If someone sends me an event invite that our crew is throwing, I review it and make my own HTML layout that I post, and like I said, I know how to attract the crowd and make it easy for them to see what's going on rather than making them go out of their way to find out the info.
Ohhh and get this -- I spent about an hour and a half writing out all the links to the groups I belong to on MySpace (which, like I said, is about 25 groups), as well as the communities I belong to on here. I wrote it out in HTML so he could just click the name and just go right to the group... I send the email, it said it sent, but I went back to check to make sure I didn't have any broken links, and the fucking email wasn't in my sent box. So I wrote to him saying what had happened, and wondering if it had sent but just wasn't in my sent box... He writes back with a conversation he had with some kid I don't even know... His name is Jay, from Spread the Word productions... The fucking kid is calling me a liar because he did a search for other Equality event listings............... UM, HELL-FUCKING-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never fucking said I made an event listing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I said I make bulletins almost everyday, and post the flyer in tons of online groups!!!!!!!! Sooooo those assholes are calling me a liar???????????? Because they're idiots???????!!!!!!!!
Yeah fuck that.
So I wrote back to Knowledge and kinda flipped out. I told him he can fucking go look for himself at my groups, which are located on my page. Then I was just like -- "actually, yanno, I don't even want to go to the fucking event now"
He can take his fucking comp and shuv it up his fucking ass!
I saw that he read the email and didn't write back. I kinda wish he would have cuz I'd love to know what he fucking thinks about that!
Soooooo I'm doing a big photoshoot on Feb. 3rd for a sports calender =) It's going to be like motor-cross type stuff... I'm posing on a quad, and I already picked my outfit.
It's cool cuz a friend of mine, Ashley, asked me to do it out of the blue...
The only problem I have with it is that one of the other girls is someone I really don't like. I don't want to cause any problems or have drama at something like this.
So I dunno!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm excited =)
Also, if you want a calender, let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So my Christmas wasn't all that ruined... It all came together nicely. I missed out on going to my Aunt Cathy's for dinner. I just didn't feel like driving three hours just to eat and talk for an hour. But I definitely missed out -- she made all kinds of goodies. I'm especially bummed that I missed the Blackberry cake (there was a fancier word for it but that's all I can think of lol) My daddy bought me myyy pink Ipod =) Just like I've been wanting. I finally got the chance last night to put my files on it... What a fuckin pain in the ass lol
Other than that, everything has been going just fine. Jimmy and I are living together again, and he seems better about things. We went out Tuesday night with some friends... That was kinda cool since we really haven't done that in a long time.
I've mainly just been trying to keep myself busy. I'm actually sick of this damn computer.
So I just deleted a bunch of entries because I'm sick of thinking about all the shit that has been going on. Reading it on here just makes me upset. Now I don't have to have it remind me.
I just wish everything would be back to normal.
As far as I'm concerned, Christmas has been ruined. We can't even have any friggen snow.
Holy shit! I was looking at the National temperatures on WeatherBug, and it kinda shows a bit of Canada too... Canada has a -2 reading!!!!!!!!!! Negitive two degrees!?!?!??????? Wow Canada is freezing overrr! =( Hope all of you over there are keeping toasty!!!!!!!! Stay indoors!!
I had a photoshoot on Saturday. It went really good, minus the wind. I wanted to wear something different, and crazy, so I did regardless of the weather lol. But yeah from what I saw, they came out great! Mike said he was already done with the processing so I should have them within a few days, then I'll post some :)
Gawd I am so disgusted. It's like 3am and I cannot sleep thanks to my sweet *rolls eyes* boyfriend. His mentality just really pisses me off sometimes!!!!!!!!! I really don't even think he cares!!!!!!!!!! Why do I even bother caring??? Ugh I want to scream.
I've been so completely annoyed by this : my boyfriend says he'd rather listen to radio talk shows rather than listen to music. It irritates me because not only is talking on the radio totally annoying, the stuff they talk about is just nonsense or it's piggish. lol *sigh*
I'm also extremely annoyed by myspace tonight!! I cannot friggen post a picture! grrrrrrrrrrrr
so I was thinking : post a new background or leave the one I have?
lol... Last night I couldn't sleep, so I was just playing around on the computer, annnd I was trying to find a cool camo background on the photobucket search but I didn't find what I was looking for... sooo I started looking at other pictures. I typed in "Whoop" to see what came up, lol, and there was like so many people who had pictures of me saved in their photobucket... I thought that was funny. Only cuz I'm totally just a regular person, but so many people think that I'm some big celebrity supermodel. Well helloooooooooooooooo SHOW ME THA MONEY! lol!!!!!!
I also got an offer yesterday to do another clothing line! yay It's called Cream Apparel... it's like urban type clothing, with graffiti type prints =) definately hot stuff
Also, I would like to give a very special shout out to a gorgeous, sweet, and talented girl named Felicia. She wrote an entry about me, so I just wanted to say thank you by doing the same =)
Ugh I've been so sick because of my wisdom teeth. They really need to be taken out, so they've been making my gums bleed, which has made me sick. I've already called out of work about three days now because of it, and today I'm going to call out again. I just can't handle having to work with a bunch of customers for nine hours. Figures too because I got up and took my shower and what not THEN I start to get sick. I want a new job anyway, so I guess this will be a perfect time to look since Jimmy isn't home to bug me about doing this and this and this.
Mike and I have been kinda at it recently. He pissed me off last week because he had posted a picture of some chick with huge silicon lips wearing the black angel wings he's been wanting me to do a shoot in. This is the second time he's done that to me. He tells me he wants me to this big angel theme shoot but then does some of it with other girls. I just don't like him promising me something but then letting everyone else do my thing. So I made a comment on the picture saying "now I really can't be original". Annnd then he took down all of his pics. lol
Blah I really don't feel good =( I don't really want to call out either cuz I'm going to have a really good check this week, but it'd be better if I wasn't feeling like shit!!!!!!! *sigh* Although now that I hear the roofers banging right outside my window, I'm glad I'm not sleeping, it would have woken me up anyway.
I'm awesome - I had to buy an outfit tonight for work because I only have one pair of pants that I'm required to wear, so I had to get another... Anyway - I found a really cute outfit for a total of $11! =) I'm proud of myself lol!
Tomorrow I have to work =( I hateeeeeeee working on the weekend! But Jimmy is working too so it won't be as bad...
And PureRave keeps not letting me log in, saying my connection is bad... *sigh*
Jimmy has been bugging me to come to bed but I wanted to point out my good shopping, sooooooooo GOOD NIGHT
I had to work today for a whole four hours. Lucky me. Although all I had to do was computer work so I kinda got to go at my own pace... I kept wanting to just close my eyes and go back to sleep. lol! I was also late for waking up this morning. I slept an extra half hour. Whooooops. I amazingly still was there on time. I mean, with my six minute leeway, lol.
Right now I'm waiting for my friend Arnold to come visit from MA. I haven't seen him since my birthday in March!! So that'll be cool.
Tomorrow I have a shoot with Laine Couture in Portland. I'm excited for that because my friend Danielle will be there, and she's a dolllllll. We're supposed to go to the mall after too so yay fun.
My friend Gus & Miss Pink have a gig at Bubba's Sulky Lounge on the 16th that I guess I'm going to. Ashley is coming... We're having a photographer come. Hotness.
"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
i actually have a bit of a french twist to my accent from being around my grandmother pretty much all my life. my boyfriend says he loves my voice =) <3
I'm hating my job. The pay is shitty, the discount sucks, and I actually really don't like working with customers. Most of which are old ladies, and I have a quiet voice so I have to repeat things to them like three times... I feel like an ass doing it too... They look at me like they have a problem.
I also constantly get hit on. It's sooo annoying... And like I don't want to be a bitch and like ignore them so I just smile and nod. Last night, one guy who I was working with kept staring at me. I reallllllllly hateeeee being stared at. I kept looking at him like "what the fuck are you looking at!!?" and he kinda kept following me... When we were doing computer work, he sat next to me... And kept trying to get me stuff..... He also would not stop talking. Every chance he got he would say something. I wasn't even there for 10 sec and he was talking to me. lol thanks for being sweet, dude, but no. Then today as I was doing computer work, a guy sat next to me... We talked a little about what department I was in, and about the computer program I was working on... And then kinda before I had to leave, he like dropped his phone on the floor. I think it was intentionally because it dropped like between his legs as if he was either holding it there or had it on his lap... Anyway.. As I got up to leave, he says, "oh, you're not going to tell me that I dropped my phone?? What if I needed it??" LOL!!!!!!! Like how the hell could he not know himself that he dropped his friggen phone?!?!?!?? And what was I supposed to say to that?!??? "Um, sorry?" lolllllll goodness.
One thing that's cool about this job is that I work with a lot of different people, different races. There was one girl who was from Somalia. She's nice. About my age, a little younger... She had lots of stories to tell about where she's from. Gotta love stories. What's also cool is that I work with another girl who is from Brazil. Her name is Bogdana.. I actually had recognized her through some pictures Brewer did for her. So now we're myspace friends and everything! yay! LOL
Speaking of myspace.. I'm really getting sick of all the band friend requests I get. I don't want to turn the band block on, cuz I do like hearing new music that is being put out, but I wish they had like a filter where you could choose what genre you'd like to hear from... They also need to catagorize the friends part... Seperate the bands from your actual friends. I mean, I have most of my friends in my favorites, but when I need to look through my actual friends section, I don't want to look through 100 pages of bullshit. *sigh* Someone mentioned to me that they were glad I wasn't a bot. LOL maybe I should get one... That would make things much better.
Anyone notice my mood is usually set to "amused" hahaha oh silly life.
*sigh* I'm lucky to have met so many great people in my life. I've definately met some horrible people, but the many more great people make it all worth it. All I can do is smile. I got a comment on one of my pictures on myspace, from my best friends sister. She mentioned, "I saw those pictures of you guys from back during the SMA days, with the black boots". Oh the memories! The story... My grandmother had a pair of sexy, black leather stiletto boots that I was just in love with. I would wear them all the time while playing dress up lol!!!!!! (I was like 10 years old), and my friends and i would take pictures... LOL wow I still have a lot of the pictures... Such great memories though.
I was talking with Arnold earlier, and he mentioned that Ed Rush & Optical was playing in Boston in Dec. =) Oh boy o h b o y ! ! ! So excited.
There's also a little get together on the 16th of this month... Kinda sucks that it's on a weekday, but there will be a lot of my friends going, so I really want to go. I invited Ashley, cuz she just broke up with her boyfriend and has been bugging me to go out.
I went to the mall with Mike today. There's a jacket I've been eyeing at Abercrombie for about a month now. I'm determined to get it lol BUUUUUT holy crap I really can't get myself to spend $200 on a jacket... I'mma bargain shopper, and clothing is so over-priced these days. So with my mentality, I'd rather buy two jackets for $200 than one. Shit, I could probably get four jackets for that price lol I'll just keep looking on Ebay... I usually find what I want for half the price on there. Freakin love it I bought some new panties to add to my collection today lol!!!!! They're so cute - pink, red, & black. They have a little cut out star, and criss crossie things on the side... I love panties. haha
In a previous entry, I mentioned how I was tickled with amusement due to an ex of mine and a girl breaking up... I wrote to my friend Mandi trying to get the details of what happened with them, and she told me that the girl wanted to be my friend. And so... because I'm nice... and rather make friends than enemies... I wrote to her... It would be a nice kick in the ass for my ex to see me and her as friends.
I just love that they finally broke up. I knew it wouldn't last. They hooked up around the same time that Jimmy and I did... I love that J & I are continuing to last, and my ex is once again a loser.
Get this - I posted a picture today on my myspace of Danielle, Lex, and me from Juli's party... We were totally goofing off in our pictures together, and the one I posted was us being naughty/silly. I'll post it after I explain what happened to piss me off... So my dad posted a comment on it, and emailed me, saying how he thought it was skanky, and how we looked like porn queens. He kept asking "is this your future?!" and saying how if that's how I'm going to be, he doesn't want to know me. LOL wow. Just wow. The picture isn't even bad. WE WERE FUCKING GOOFING AROUND. We're not wearing anything revealling. We don't look like whores. We look like we're being silly.
The fact that he is pissed about it is ridiculous. I'm 21. I can do whatever the fuck I want. I don't base my life around my father. I do what makes me happy, and if it's taking crazy, silly pictures with my friends, then that's what I'm going to do. I'm not an eight year old Catholic school girl anymore.
I ended up taking the fucking picture down just cuz he made me feel guilty, and I really don't like disrespecting anyone if that's the way they feel. I'm just going to ignore him for a bit or something. He should apologize for calling me names. Jerk.
Anyway - here's the picture :
And here's some more!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)
* Lex, Danielle, & moi wearing Laine Couture shirts *
Hm. Okay. There were a few things I meant to update on.
The photographer/model party last Saturday : We arrived pretty early. Even before the party was supposed to start... Mike bought me alcohol, which was really cool. It sucked being there without Jimmy though. I wanted him to come but he gets bored with things like that. ANYWAY - Pumpkin Pete had t-shirts from his friends clothing line, Laine Couture, and had us model those. We got to keep the shirts & all that jazz. Juli had a DJ there. I drank about five beers, and was dancing around like a goof ball. I finally met a girl who I had been wanting to meet for a while now. Her name is Danielle. She's a doll. We took some pictures together... At one point, Juli handed us a champagne bottle... It just got silly after that. Mike won't let me see the pictures for some reason =( I hate it when people hold out on pictures!!!!!!!!! LAME! There was a guy there who did poi & fire breathing. He was wearing devil horns, so he looked like a demon behind all that fire & darkness, haha!
Mike wants me to do my Naughty Nurse shoot on Monday. I'm kind of upset about it, because at first he said this was my shoot, and he wanted it to be perfect. He said he'd pay me $20/hour minimum of five hours... He said I could bring someone to do it with me too if I wanted... So I was thinking I'd invite Danielle. I emailed her asking her if she'd like to go, and she did. I was supposed to do a shoot with Ashley tomorrow, but she couldn't find anyone who would be able to do it. I told her to ask Mike & that he'd do it in a heartbeat. SO somehow Mike misunderstood her about when she wanted to do the shoot. He made plans with her to come to the shoot on Monday, when I was under the impression that I'd be bringing Danielle. I mean, I like Ashley and all, but I've done so many shoots with her already. I just kinda wanted someone new... And Danielle and I got together great, and she was very "outgoing". I also had seen one photo of us together from the party, and we looked really good together because we both have really long, wavy hair... I dunno.. It just looked really good, and I wanted to continue that. I know there will be other times...
I did some nosey business today on myspace. I dunno, I'm a loser, I like to look at peoples pages I can't stand to see what karma has brought them......
Like I looked at this one chicks page, who was dating my ex, but now her page says "single". That fuckin crackkkkkks me up cuz they were acting like they were married, even calling themselves married... Now she is in the position I was in, and now I'm the happy one! HAHA BITCH!
Well my dad is on his way here to get me... We're going out to eat, and maybe for a bike ride.
I've been going on really bad shopping spree's, and now I'm kinda in trouble with money. I read some where that there's an illness of shopping addiction lol geezus.
I came accross a girl I went to high school with on Myspace. Haha this is great - she was my top enemy back then. From the very first day of school, she gave me hell like no other, and for no reason at all! I eventually got her back real good... Got her kicked off the basketball team, which is the one sport she did, and seemed to love. After that she stopped tormenting me, but still like wanted me dead. lol ...anyway... so I looked at her pictures, and holyyyyyyy fuckkkkkkk she turned out GORGEOUS. She even has a bunch of modeling pictures... I HAD to write to her. I wrote: "Despite all the bullshit from back in high school, I just wanted to tell you that I think you look amazing and I hope everything is good with you." I didn't expect her to even write back cuz she really _did not_ like me. BUT she did write back, said she was sorry, and told me to keep in touch =) I thought that was cool, and totally made me see her as a different person. I mean, she did look like a whole new person in her pics, but I just was wondering if her attitude changed.
So Jimmy has been working a shitty shift at work... He goes in at 6am, and gets out at around 11am, then comes home and takes a nap all day. So today I'm using the free time to go through my stupid friend requests.
I got my Halloween costume in the mail a few days ago. I haven't tried it on yet though... I have tried on the shoes, which are hella sexy. Heidi came over last night and tried them on lol She's like "ah they look better on you" lol (only because I have a narrow toe, and these shoes have the cut-out toe)
Heidi's cool shit.
Lea had called her while she was here. (she's the one who's getting the divorce after 4 months of marriage) Heidi didn't pick it up cuz she really didn't want to talk to her. Lea left a message, and when Heidi listened, it said something about she needed to ask her something. I knew it had to have been something to do with what's going on, so I told Heidi to call her back cuz I wanted to hear lol
Now this is what happened: Lea used Heidi as an excuse/lie to tell her boyfriend, so that she could go out all night and be a hoe. Heidi was pissed about that, buuuuut Heidi is the type to not say anything when she's pissed, and let people walk all over her. So it upset me, cuz Heidi is my best friend... and I'm certainly not that kind of person. I wrote Brandon (Lea's ex or whatever) an email saying that Heidi had nothing to do with what Lea had been doing, and that no one should be thinking any less of her. He never wrote back, but when Heidi called Lea, her question was what I had wrote in the email to Brandon... Of course she exaggerated it... Saying that I wrote that "I'm sooo sorry for what Lea did to him" - which wasn't what I wrote. I wrote "I'm sorry that Lea did this, if not to you, but to Jordan" (Jordan is their child). Then I cut right to the point about Heidi. lol I'm definately not sooooooo sorry for him! He fuckin deserves it! He should have known she was like that from the beginning when she left his best friend at the time for him!!!!!!!!!!! I just feel bad for their child. Cuz like I said in a previous entry, I came from a broken home, and there was nothing good about it. I even saw on the news a few days ago that they were airing a report about how children who come from a family where both the mother and father are still together are more happy and successful than children of a broken home.
blah
I dunno! whateva!
Saturday there's a model and photographer BBQ that I'm supposed to go to... I'm nervous... I don't know why, but I am. And I don't know what to wear!!!!!!! grr Why do I get myself into this shit? lol
I did the shoot with Mike today... the one where I've promised to do two other times but have cancelled on him after he has driven all the way up to me. lol
We went to Kennebunkport, and did the shoot for the sunset.
I've been wanting to do a sunset shoot for a long time now =) so that was cool. It was FREEZING though, but we got some good shots.
I was supposed to shoot with Brewer yesterday but.. I cancelled. lol *shrug*
So get this -- a friend of mine, who justttttt got married in June AND has a child with the guy she married, has been going out to the bars just about every night of the week (without the husband, of course). She does shit with other guys while she's out all the time, and she even started hanging out with them out of the bars. She tells our other friend that "she's 21 now and she wants to go out". She fucking should have thought about that before she popped out a kid and committed to marriage!!!!!!! I mean, the guy she married was/is a loser. I was shocked she was dating him to begin with. But that's what she wanted. She should have been smarter. I figured she'd get a divorce eventually, but not four months later!
My parents divorced when I was about 5. It sucked. I feel bad for any kid who has to put up with that bullshit. Lots of heartache comes from a broken family.
People should be sure they want to spend the rest of their lives with someone before they have a family.
Lol - SOOOOO many people tell me that I look like Angelina Jolie. I always disagree just cuz she's like the most beautiful woman alive (next to Adriana Lima lol) but now I guess I should believe it since My Heritage.com says so! LOL!
I also get Carmen Electra, Kelly Clarkson, and Julia Stiles a lot.
Fun fun!
OKAY!!! Well!!! I guess I will update this in life-perspective mode lol
An old friend of mine, Molly, a girl whom I went to grade school with, recently contacted me through myspace and was supposed to come visit this weekend. We were going to go to an event Saturday night together and then do a shoot on Sunday, but now she's saying she doesn't know if she can make it due to her ride situation. So that sucks! Last weekend I was going to go to CT to do the shoot with her but I cancelled cuz I didn't get any sleep the night before so I felt like shit.
Brewer brought me my picture CD the other night from back when I did the shoot with the stylist. I really hated my make-up that day, but as I was looking through the shots, I found a few that I liked, so that's good.
We had to restore the computer a few days ago because I updated my McAfee but I guess it had some virus because our internet wasn't working after. I know that's what caused it because I hadn't done anything else. Luckily I was able to save my files on disc but it still sucks having to reload all the programs I use, and reloading the files. I had also pimped out my AIM, but it was erased when the program was deleted =( I hate that - they should have that stuff saved with your account )=
Well I DON'T KNOW! I guess I have a pretty boring life cuz I have nothing to say at the moment. I'm getting back into the writing mood though, so I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot more from this Whoop_T!!!!!!
I also haven't felt like writing. I've had more than plenty of thoughts running through my head, but I've just be ehhhhhh about physically doing it, and instead I've been shutting everything out.
It's been cold out recently... Sweatshirt weather! My hands are freezing as I type.
I was supposed to do a shoot with Mike on Saturday but I cancelled. Cuz that's been my attitude lately. CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL IT ALL OUT!
There's a big shoot on the 14th. With some fashion designers! weeeeee Hopefully this cancel attitude will cancel itself out!
There's also a CD release party that night that I was invited to... Not sure if I'll be able to go yet, but I gave the guy my name for the guestlist, and some of my friends names just in case...
Dani was supposed to move here to Maine in the beginning of the week, but no one has heard from her. She hasn't been online either... So she's like... missing... I'm worried. She does that thing sometimes where she'll go and meet a random guy who she met over the internet... I really hope this isn't one of those cases. I sent a message to almost everyone she has on her top friends on myspace asking if they've heard from her, and everyone has said they haven't talked to her in a week or so. *sigh* I really hope she's okay.
There was also a girl who I went to high school with who died last Sunday in a car accident. I was friends with her at one point, but she was one of those girls who loved drama, and was two-faced... I couldn't trust her, ...and she didn't respect me... ...sooo... ...yeah... Even though I felt betrayed by her, I have this feeling of sympathy and remorse. It's weird too cuz her boyfriend would flirt with me, now I wonder if he feels any remorse? Regardless of everything, R.I.P. Corinne Walters.
SO in brighter news, I got my Halloween costume. Not sure exactly what I'll be doing for Halloween though. Jimmy doesn't want to go out. He says he hates Halloween parties... But Halloween is one of my most favorite holidays! It's fun to see everyone go all out and dress up. My costume is a Naughty Nurse. Lol how original, right? It's vinyl, and I got matching vinyl stilettos! I'm going to wear red thigh high fishnets too cuz it'll match the red accents to the costume ;)
I've been playing this ridiculous game for the past two days. It's called Fish Tycoon. You have a virtual fish tank and you raise and breed all kinds of fishies! lol I think it's cute *shrug* Fishy Fishy!
I was watching the Discovery channel earlier, and one of my new favorite shows is the latest technology shows! They've created the cooooooooolest stuff ever. This shit is like what you've seen in movies like Back to the Future! You should watch them.
I posted the article about how we have about 10 years to save ourselves on myspace, and again, I only got about five replies... We're doomed. It's really sad. I want to do something about it, but I can't. I do try, too. I try to influence people around me, but no one wants to listen, take the time, or even care. I wish people would try to be better.
Anyway...... As much as I love reading about what's going on in the world, my blah attitude is kicking in...... and now I am sick of even wasting my energy on this... It's up to you now.
Ugh so when I mentioned the Racegirl event to Jimmy, all he said was "well what am I going to do?" . . . . . . . So Mr. "I love you" can't suck up his hatred for the races to support me? Nice. Reallllllllllllllll fucking nice.
My dad was really excited about it, and he hates the races too. I guess my grandparents want to go... lol
Well today I feel sick and I don't wanna do anything =( i hate this feeling.
I had a shoot today, which went okay. But once again, I come home to a bunch of bullshit!!!!!!!!!!
This morning I had been working on fixing my top friends section on my myspace page. There's a few people I want to add, and delete yadda yadda. I spent about 30-40 mins doing it... I had to start getting ready for my shoot, so I left the site up so I could finish it when I got back. BUT NO! Of course, Jimmy fucking closed the site!!!!!!! I KNEW he was going to do that. I should have told him to leave it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Then, I went to go get a beer so I could relax (cuz I still had jitters from my shoot)... BUT NO... Jimmy drank them all.
FUCKING THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *rolls eyes*
Great fucking night...
He went to go get me some... but when we got home, he went to bed.
Which pisses me off SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much more cuz I wanted some lovins tonight since I didn't fucking get any last night.
I seriously just want to fucking cry. I can't though for some odd reason... I think I've cried so much in the past that I can't do it any more. It's weird. Now I'm just like FUCK YOU, WHATEVER! I think it's because, for once in my life, I'm finally happy. I'm doing everything I've dreamed about doing, and have good things in my life (other than stupid ass bullshit that happens! lol!) Now whenever something goes bad, I laugh instead of cry. Yeah I do feel like screaming, but I'm still fucking happy. WTF?!!? LOL this isn't like me!!!!!!!!
ANYWAYYYYYYYYY - Yeah. My shoot today. It was....... eh. I was all excited to go this morning, but I had a coffee and it made my nerves go crazy. I guess Ashley wasn't feeling too good and really didn't want to go, but she went anyway cuz I did. We had the stylist there. She's so cute!!! She's tinyyyyyy so I feel like a GIANT next to her! I was kinda pissed though because she put stage make-up on me, so it was really dark for my complexion. She accented my cheek bones more than she needed to, so in some of the shots I look like I have this brown stuff on my cheeks... We wore black and red corsets, but the make-up she put on my eyes really didn't go well cuz it was a light green. The location we shot at was a train museum. It was really cool! They had a lot of old trains that you could go inside. We did a lot of fun stuff like climbing on the chairs and tables, and hanging off the bars/poles.
Yup.
So it's 12:30 and I have a shoot with Mike tomorrow. He's supposed to pick me up at like 10am, but since I've had a bad night I just don't feel like getting into bed right now. I'm going to look like a zombie. BLAH. But the main thing for tomorrow is that Mike wants to talk to me about stuff... I'm not exactly sure what's to come about with that... Not sure how excited I am for it... He's been really jealous about me working with this Brewer guy.
He left me a comment just now on one of the pictures of me, saying he hated that shot because he loved it. I broke down and started crying. Figures, I was just writing about how I am happy and can't cry... then he had to leave that damn comment!!! What made me break down was just that I feel like that shot has a lot of meaning to me - far beyond what anyone could understand. I was looking at the calender when I was marking the date of the shoot on my disc, and, well, that was taken on my mothers birthday (9/4). I haven't seen her in over two years. That is the main reason why it has so much meaning to me. The style of the shot, too, has a gloomy sadness with the gray stormy looking clouds, and my hair is blowing in the wind... I subjected it to being as a freedom from when I went to a Catholic school, but that was only a part of the meaning to me. I explained all of this to Mike in my reply to him about his comment...
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